Dancers innately can barrel through things and have a perseverance and determination to just do what needs to be done, to make it work. We keep going. We are good about listening to our bodies, but we are warriors and usually keep going. Well, now you’ve just had a baby and in your fourth trimester. You’ve carried your beautiful baby all these months, have possible continued to teach and now you’re here with this amazing infant, but accompanied by a body you don’t quite recognize, raging hormone shifts, feedings every couple of hours, sleep deprivation, a division of your time and energy, a shift in prioritizing and a 24 hour haze you are constantly walking around in. Oh and now you need to teach dance to young dancers 4-5 hours a night, pick out costumes, choreograph multiple numbers and be the most creative artist you’ve ever been. And then repeat tomorrow. Tall order.
The fourth trimester is a beautiful time to absorb every last second with your newborn. It goes by quickly but when you’re in the trenches it can feel like forever and also take a toll on you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and artistically. And we have to honor that.
Coming back after pregnancy to a studio full of energetic dancers ready to move and learn new choreography (sometimes when all you want to do is take a nap,) can be intimidating, especially if you don’t have the time you used to, to devote to all those lesson plans and choreography you once had infinite time for. Furthermore, add to it the addition of this brand new body that you’re getting used to and navigating those challenges and it’s a lot for one to take. So- we need to pause.
Feeling self-conscious and so tired you want to cry everyday does not lend itself to letting the creative juices flowing. Add a bit of Mommy guilt for working to the equation and it can take a long slow toll.
Again. Pause. Take a breath and listen to your body. This is also the most neglected time for new Moms and we have to be champions for ourselves and be our own advocate for a healthy mind and body as we readjust to this new life. And it’s OK not to know how to do it. Like the most beautiful choreography, it will just unfold effortlessly into your new rhythm. Listen to your body when you’re tired. Don’t force choreography when it’s just not coming. You may feel like you are working against a clock in between feedings and naps to get pieces done, but you have to honor the moment of time you are in and relish it. It goes by quickly. The priority is taking care of you first and your baby. However long that takes.
Accepting the notion that getting your body back will take time, your process for teaching and choreographing will probably have to shift, acknowledging the rest your body needs to refuel, understanding your creativity may need a minute to resurface and admitting the enormous changes your body and mind are going through at rapid pace is imperative.
As a dear friend reminded me, it took nine months to grow this person, things are not going to snap back in a week. Treat your time in the studio as something you are doing for yourself and remembering that other part of you which is also part of your identity. Eat healthy things and fuel your body but don’t deny yourself those yummy treats. Put limits on things that are overwhelming and become OK with saying, “No.”
I promise as joyous as you are for your healthy little one to be here, it’s OK to feel frustrated and a little disconcerted. But, you are amazing for all your body, mind and soul have been through.
Cherish the whole journey inside and outside of the studio and remember what strong souls Dancers and Mommies are. They are a lethal combination in the best possible way. Keep doing what works best for you as you settle into the dual role of Mom and Teacher and make no apologies for your process. You’re doing great and will find your way. With the support of family and friends, you got this. Your baby and students are lucky to have you! One day at a time. Enjoy that little one!
Good luck!
See you in the dance studio, Mommy Teachers!
Jess
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