More and more today we are noticing that students are having increasing difficulty in dealing with conflicts amongst their peers. It seems that social media is in many ways driving them apart. There is so much additional pressure put on students today especially with the overwhelming use of the computer in their daily lives. From the minute they get up in the morning to last thing at night they are looking at a screen. The phone, the computer for school and in a lot of cases for their dance classes not only causes conflict in some cases but can make them anxious and have a feeling of being off balance mentally and physically. At the end of the day, this constant emphasis on social media and the ever-present comparisons makes it difficult for them to see a clear way to resolve any issues or conflicts in their lives.
Our role as a dance studio owner or dance teacher is constantly evolving and never more so than in the past year. So, it is important for us to find new ways to relate to our students, in order for them to feel some sense of moving forward with their dance and their relationships. Somehow when I was teaching a Zoom class, I would feel that I now knew a whole different side of not only my students but also their families. I got to know their pets as they very often joined in the dance classes, I saw their home environment, I could tell which of the parents were reasonably disciplined and each class became a story unto itself.
I found that I communicated more with them on a personal level and in a way got to know them much better. This has all been really useful because it has given me more knowledge and understanding of each student so that I can help them with conflicts that they might have difficulty with both at school, at home and with their friends.
When a student comes to me with something that is worrying them 90% of the time it has something to do with social media and their reaction to something that took place that is disturbing them. While I will always give them my advice, I first try to get them to understand that they have the skills to fix whatever is bothering them, they just need the confidence to realize that. The only way they can gain confidence is to resolve a situation for themselves and understand that they can do it.
Here are some suggestions or ideas that I give my students for conflict resolution.
1. Determine exactly what the problem is that is upsetting them.
2. Ask themselves why it is affecting them so much.
3. Arrange to sit down with the person or persons that are affecting them in a negative way and tell them why you are upset. This can be done in a casual way, having a snack or lunch. (Invariably they will be worried or afraid about doing this, but I would always encourage it. If need be, I would help to facilitate it but the feeling of confidence if they do it themselves is what we are trying to instill in them.
4. Avoid all confrontations via phone either by talking or texting, but especially texting and definitely do nothing with emails. If we teach the kids of today how to look each other in the eye and respect one another even if they have differences then we have made a huge impact on their lives.
5. Be the one who wants to make the positive change.
If they can use these 5 ways to resolve conflicts in their lives, they will become stronger and so much more confident when an issue arises. As we know dance teachers are not only responsible for teaching our students to dance and to appreciate all that dance does for us but we end up in so many cases as being responsible for helping them with life lessons and of enabling them to gain confidence both as people and performers.
