It can be a tough pill to swallow when a student who has been with you for quite some time decides to leave your dance studio. On the other hand, it can also feel like a huge relief when that one negative, pot stirring student (and family) decides to leave. Or, you kindly ask them to leave because you value their happiness and don’t see your studio as being a good fit for them. Each scenario has their own grieving process, albeit maybe one a little longer than the other. However, what do you do when any former student decides to bad-mouth your studio, your teachers and your current students? Social media today makes it even harder, with its quick ability at the click of a button to reach the masses.
So, how do you go about it? What I have learned is, people can react very negatively and defensively when you start vocalizing boundaries. Where they take it as a personal attack, it really is more of, “xyz is just not OK with me anymore…” It doesn’t have to be combative or ill-willed, but speaking up can make people uncomfortable and take it as a personal attack when in reality, it’s just you asserting what works for you and what doesn’t. And nobody should ever apologize for that, as long as it’s done in a respectful way.
Taking the high road is really the way to go here. As long as you know your truth and have a clear conscious that YOU did everything you could to salvage the relationship, were communicable, respectful, listened with opened ears and tried your very best –that’s all you can do. You cannot and will not ever control others. All you can do is control your actions and behaviors. If you are living in your truth and moving with good intention, let them talk. It can feel difficult at times and of course we are human. Our feelings get hurt and we question how things may have went down or what we could have done differently. But, at the end of the day, just move with grace and well wishes. Eventually the cream always rises to the top and the naysayers usually expose themselves to who they really are. Just continue to stay in your lane, wish them the best and keep your students’ dance education, health and happiness at the forefront and you will never go wrong.
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